The Cheney/Bush Era has been a trying time for patriotic Americans, but this Independence Day, we once again have something to celebrate.

Yeah, more YouTube, but I honestly never thought I'd see this one again.

( God, I love The Real Ghostbusters )

"Sure, we come in peace and all that. But sometimes, when we encounter alien life forms, the only way we can communicate is by using our built-in universal translators: the ones with five knuckles and a thumb."

Dick Martin and Harvey Korman die within days of each other, yet Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia continue to walk the earth.

Wiscon is a very fine convention indeed.

Link: The Which Japanese Feudal Lord do you most resemble? Test written by perky08 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(perky08)

• I'm still sorting out my feelings on the topic of Lego Nazis.
  
• I always did like Iron Man's "Silver Centurion" armor. Evidently someone at Target agrees with me.
  
• I know a lot of GI Joe fans prefer Destro in the silver mask, but I've always been more partial to the gold mask and fetishwear.
  
• I was gonna get around to seeing the Speed Racer movie anyway, but evidently it features JOHN GOODMAN VERSUS NINJAS. JOHN GOODMAN VERSUS NINJAS, I TELL YOU! Just TRY to keep me away! Just TRY!
  

Entertainment Weekly's 20 Worst Comic-Book Movies Ever.

Why the hate for The Shadow? I thought it was Alec Baldwin's finest role, at least until he got all doughy and discovered he had a gift for comedy.

Me, I'd have dropped The Shadow, Swamp Thing, Ghost Rider, and The Phantom from the list, and replaced them with Mystery Men, Batman and Robin, Batman and Robin, and Batman and Robin.

Freezepop. March 29.

This has been the shortest period of unemployment I've ever had. I start the new gig Tuesday.

Today I learned what happens when you promise yourself that you're going to stay at your job until your 401(k) vests.

The Walker Art Center: The art may be pretentious, but at least the building is oppressive.

1) National Treasure: Book of Secrets. A fun "check your brain at the door" movie. It doesn't stand up to the slightest amount of analysis, but I'm a sucker for movies where the cast looks like they're having a good time.

2) Juno. AIIIEEE THE HIPSTER IT BURNS. Apparently self-conscious cleverness is fashionable this year. It was exactly as overwritten and twee as I was afraid it would be. On the other hand, J.K. Simmons is always a pleasure to watch, and Jennifer Garner's performance is a nice surprise.

1. The Golden Compass. It was about as good as I expected it to be. It felt a little bit rushed, but it did have a lot of ground to cover. It's on a par with the first Harry Potter film in that regard. Lovely production design, excellent use of Nicole Kidman's eerie soullessness, Sam Elliott is excellent in the role of Sam Elliott as Lee Scoresby. They got the witches exactly right. A word of warning: After spending the evening watching Derek Jacobi, Christopher Lee, and Jim Carter, and listening to the voice of Ian McKellen, you too will be stuck in Large Ham mode for hours.

2. Elizabeth:The Golden Age. The critics absolutely ripped this one, but I thought it was a fine successor to Elizabeth. Maybe I'm just favorably disposed because one of my favorite actors (Geoffey Rush) returns to play one of my favorite historical figures (Sir Francis Walsingham). catherineldf made the excellent point that Elizabeth spends a lot of time throwing tantrums, but even considering that, the film was much better than expected.

Last night's dream:

I started up an absinthe distillery. It was doing pretty well and getting
some recognition. One day I was talking with a friend and trying to set up
dinner plans.

"I can't get together that night," I said. "I have to go accept an award from
the Minnesota Booze Council."

You might think it strange for me to say that I walked out of a movie about suicide with a big damn smile on my face. Well, maybe you wouldn't think it strange that I would say that. Shut up.

If Jim Jarmusch directed Beetlejuice, this would be that movie. It's about a guy, Zia (Patrick Fugit), who commits suicide after breaking up with his girlfriend. The afterlife for suicides is just like our world, but juuust a little bit worse. Zia works a menial job at Kamikaze Pizza and spends his evenings at the bar (where the jukebox plays nothing but Joy Division) with his friend, the Russian punk rocker Eugene (Shea Wigham, whose role and performance were inspired by Gogol Bordello's Eugene Hutz). When Zia finds out that his ex-girlfriend has also killed herself, he and Eugene take to the road to find her. Along the way, they pick up Mikal (Shannyn Sossamon), a hitchhiker who insists she's there by mistake, and Kneller (Tom Waits), who runs a camp for eccentric misfits.

The leads are all very cute and winsome in a hipster sort of way. Tom Waits is very Tom Waitsy. There are also some nice cameos from Jake Busey and Kubiak. If you're into bone-dry humor delivered with pure stone-faced understatement, this is your film. There's a nice running gag involving the passenger-side seat of Eugene's car ("Everything that falls underneath? Gone forever. Is like black hole, or..how you say, Bermuda Triangle").

I think if this movie had come out a year ago, it would be to me what Donnie Darko was to all those mopey teenagers. I still think it has "cult favorite" written all over it. This film means to present a vision of purgatory, but I can think of worse ways to spend the afterlife than to go camping with Tom Waits.

A couple of weeks ago, I read some news stories about Raytheon's new pain ray. I was disgusted by it. I was nauseated--physically nauseated--at the fact that I live in a country that developed something like this.

I mention it because I watched Cavemen tonight. Congratulations, Cavemen. You just knocked the Raytheon pain ray to the number two slot in the list of Worst Things Ever Developed By Humans. Nicely done, Cavemen. Nicely done.